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Sleep?

I really, really wish I could sleep right now. I hate when I get like this. I want to shut off for awhile and I can't!! Gah! hatehatehate.

I purged today. I didn't really binge though... just ate a little more than I wanted too. I DO NOT want to gain weight though. So if I purge enough to keep my calories around 1600 instead of 2820 then I'm not going to fuck myself up right? I actually figured out how much I ate... 1400 during my micro-binge, 800 at work, another 220 in a snack, and 400 for dinner... I walked about four miles and I got as much as I possibly could up. I hope it took me down some.

I hate that I've started to purge again! I hate it! I hate myself even more for letting myself do it. I DO NOT want this life myself! I afraid of what life could be like without it...

[headdesk]

Comments

leezerw
Jul. 1st, 2010 05:52 pm (UTC)
Awh don't hate yourself.

purging sucks though, I hate it

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brandnewbanana
brandnewbanana

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